the time of your life

Last week Perry was telling me a story about his workday wherein he said to his class of high school juniors that overused platitude "These are the best years of your life." 

10th grade Amy's reaction to said platitude.

"Really?" I asked him. I hated when I was told that by a few of my own high school teachers. High school wasn't exactly that great for me, and if I had honestly believed that it would be my lifetime's highlight, it would have been quite depressing.

I was surprised that he had said this since I know he had some very rough times himself when he was in high school, so I asked him to explain. He followed up with what I expected: "You don't have any responsibilities. No job. No bills."

Not exactly a bad time here.

More people are using the "best years of your life" label on their university years now, but I suppose the reasoning behind it is the same: little to no responsibilities (and the added bonus of no parental supervision.)

I've never agreed with the idea that less responsibilities = more happiness. I would much rather go to work every day and pay my own way than have to follow someone else's rules. I don't think responsibilities have to mean stress or unpleasantness.

If you'd ask me what the best time of my life was, I'd say now. Right now. Since I've graduated from university every year has gotten easier for me, which I almost completely attribute to having the means (money) to do as I please and live my life on my own terms.

I wouldn't say that I had a terribly unpleasant childhood. I was well provided for, healthy, and had some very good friends. However, I couldn't say that my childhood was idyllic either. My father had anger issues, and only when looking back years later, I can see that he had a drinking problem also. My parents both worked full time jobs an hour away, and much of my later childhood years were spent taking care of my three younger siblings: getting them up and ready for school and after school making dinner, packing lunches, and making sure baths were taken and teeth were brushed. So, from the age of 12 on I couldn't say that I had "no responsibilities". 

Faking it.

Oh, and college. Almost all of the time I wasn't in a classroom, I was studying or working. I was broke and sleep deprived all five years.  I have never been so exhausted in my entire life.

Not faking it.

Sure high school and college had their good times. I made some friends. Had some fun experiences. Started figuring myself and the world out a bit. But oh, god. Would I want to do it again? No. No. No.

I hope you like hearing about birthdays

Well, I didn't intend to take such a long break between posts. I wouldn't say that I've been terribly busy or anything. I just got out of the habit. So...anyway...

I turned 31 a few weeks ago. Huzzah! I was fortunate enough to not have to work on my birthday. I celebrated by going out to eat (twice). I had lunch with my brother (who just happened to buy himself a beautiful new silver truck earlier in the day) and dinner with Perry. And the next day Perry's parents took me to another restaurant. And the following day I went to my parent's house where they cooked me an extremely large dinner. Earlier in the month during my annual physical, my doctor told me I should start exercising because "on average people in their 30's and 40's gain 3 pounds a year." I remember thinking. "Sure, doctor. Citation needed. That sounds like a bit much." However, over the course of my birthday weekend I think I fulfilled my yearly weight gain quota. At least I got it out of the way early. Right?

Two of my birthday gifts left me feeling a bit old: a mp3 player and a Kindle Fire. First, let me explain the mp3 player. I already had one, but I put a new one on my birthday wish list because I had lost the charging cable for my old one. When I turned to the internet for a replacement one, it turns out they no longer make charging cables for obsolete, five-year-old 1 GB mp3 players. I only used the little guy when I mowed the lawn, so 1 GB of music seemed like enough. With my new mp3 player I have the ability to put my entire music collection on it, which is something most people under 40 did ages ago. I still only have about half of my CDs transferred to it. It has turned out to be a bigger job than I was expecting. Now the 6 disc CD player in my car seems embarrassing.

Oh and the Kindle Fire. Perry was having a jolly old time laughing at my expense while I sat on the couch next to him and tried to navigate a touch screen for the first time. I shouldn't really say "the first time." We have touch screens on some of the instruments in the lab. But they're more of "push a box on the screen and it takes you to a menu" kind of touch screen, not the rolly, slidey, zoom in/out, touch screens on most people's phones nowadays. Two weeks later and I feel like I've gotten the hang of it. During my work week I usually spend the last hour of my day in bed reading. Now I spend the last hour of my day in bed watching fluffy costume dramas set in England on Amazon Prime.

 

 So many corsets and complicated updos. So many tears and unrequited loves. It's wonderful.

I do intend to use my Kindle for reading books too. Eventually. I just happened to get some physical paper books and comics (I'm in the middle of the Sandman series right now) for my birthday, so I want to finish all of those first, which could take some time. I am still in love with physical vs. digital things. I still like buying CDs, even though I know it isn't necessary or really practical anymore. I think physical books will be harder for me to give up though.

I want to mention that this Kindle was the first gift I've gotten in a long time that genuinely surprised me. For a while now, if I really want something, I'll just budget for it and buy it. I've wanted a Kindle for a year now, but never quite got around to the whole budgeting for it thing. I would get a windfall, but then something would come up like hey, we bought a dog, or I need to pay for vacation. Buying nice clothes for Perry's new job and supplies for his classroom really obliterated any ideas I had for some fun discretionary spending in the near future. I don't think of myself as hard up for cash, but up until very recently I was a single person (with a single income) that owns their own house. If something breaks and needs fixing, I need to have the money to fix it. So there's a set amount of money I have saved that I just won't touch. Kindle be damned. Besides it being a bit pricey, I hadn't mentioned wanting one in a while, so I was very surprised when Perry's parent's gave me one for my birthday. I think they like me.

I guess this will end up being a birthday post, because I also want to mention that my one and only brother had a birthday earlier this month too. I had to work that day, but he said he had a good time celebrating with the rest of the family. I got a phone for him since the phone he had would turn off  and freeze randomly and only 75% of the buttons on the keypad functioned properly. Yet he still carried around the phone in this state for a good two months, because according to him it wasn't really broken since he could still sorta kinda text on it. My dear brother will buy a new truck to replace one that's only one year old, but $30 for a new phone? Nah. Not when the one he has hasn't burst into flames yet.

Since my brother is also a Game of Thrones fan and is perpetually single, I got him this shirt too.

He immediately put it on as soon as he opened the package. He has a good sense of humor about these things, really.


And, finally, last weekend Perry and I went to a party for his grandfather's 70th birthday. Perry and I have been dating for over three years. That's three years worth of Thanksgiving dinners, graduations, birthdays, Christmas parties, and family reunions, and I have yet to meet all of his family. At this get together, I recognized less than half the people. I still inwardly cringe a bit when meeting new people and dislike the awkward, ice breaker, small talk that always ensues. For example, I've been in my profession for almost ten years now and I still don't think I have a suitable answer for when people ask me "So, what do you do?" I've answered before with my exact job title "I'm a medical laboratory scientist." but that normally just leads to a pause and either a follow up "So what does that mean?" or the equivalent of "That's nice, dear." At this function I tried to just answer with "I work in a lab" but that generated just as many questions as the medical scientist bit. I think I just need to resign myself to the idea that I'll never have to answer one question about my job, but several. I'm 31. I need to learn how to socialize properly eventually, right?

Also, if you're wondering what to buy a 70 year old, apparently the answer is gag gifts. At least that's the answer in Perry's family. His grandpa is a bit of a gambler, so we got him some lottery scratch off cards (which I now realize was the first time I've ever bought lottery tickets). I like Perry's grandfather. He reminds me of my father and grandfather a lot. Grumpy, outspoken, and inappropriate at most times, but with a soft, cuddly, teddy bear center.