this week in domestic news

Well, now that spring is officially here I can say that all of the things I planted last summer and fall have made it through the winter okay. I was a bit worried about a few of the things I planted during the hottest part of summer since they didn't even look that great when I bought them. So why would I buy half dead looking plants to begin with? Because they were summer drought discount prices and I couldn't resist. I was probably the most worried about the rose bush I cut back severely last summer. I hadn't pruned it in five years and it had turned into a half dead looking scraggly mess with terrifyingly large thorns.

This is what it looked like last summer after I cut and cut and cut it to pieces like the internet said it was okay to do.

I was fairly certain that I'd killed it. But this is what it looks like now.

So, it all worked out okay. Do whatever the internet says.
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And check out what I did to my front door.

Yeah, you can't tell. But I frosted the window on the top of the door. Not a big deal, but after months of answering the doorbell and screaming when I saw my brother grinning at me in the top window, I decided it was time to do something about my front door privacy issue. Not privacy from my brother exactly, but every time he did that, it reminded me that anyone at anytime could walk by and take a peep in my living room if they were so inclined (and tall).
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I bought a new vacuum. Well, that's not a big deal either, but this was my very first vacuum purchase. Yay? A long time ago my mom bought a used vacuum cleaner (or as she likes to call it "refurbished") so it was already old when it came into our family. I inherited that vacuum cleaner when I moved out 10 years ago. It had quirks. Like I couldn't use it to vacuum the hardwood floors even though it had a "hardwood" setting because it would leave long scratches in the finish. And the latch that kept it upright so you could roll it from room to room was broken so I had to physically carry it around the house. But it never occurred to me to buy a new one because bottom line: it worked. If there was something on the floor, it sucked it up. This whole "but it works!" line of reasoning is also why I still have the same washer and dryer set I got as a moving out gift 10 years ago. Even though they only have the capacity to hold two bath towels and the washer sounds like a helicopter about to take off when it hits the spin cycle and my dryer's belt has to be replaced every year.

Well I noticed the other day that my vacuum wasn't picking stuff up anymore. That's when I saw that the suction hose had completely torn in half. So, time for a new vacuum.

My new vacuum's on the left, the dearly departed one is on the right. There have been some technological advances in vacuums in the past 15 or so years. Can you believe it? Nothing as drastic as computers or cellphones, but still. My new vacuum is probably less than half the weight of my old one. Also, when did they stop making vacuums with bags? The biggest difference has got to be that the new one sucks up more than just visible dirt. I vacuum every day, but as soon as I came home with my brand new vacuum, I immediately vacuumed the entire house again (should I be ashamed to admit that?) and when I got done the canister was already halfway filled with dirt and dust bunnies and hair.

Despite the fact that I feel like I'm vacuuming the house with a plastic toy, this has been a top notch purchase.

Top songs that made me cry (the first time I heard them) (that aren't actually sad)

1. Out Go the Lights by Spoon. This song is the reason for this list. It started played in my car the other night and it still got me a little misty eyed, even after the 100th listen. It's not a classically "sad" song but to me it's filled with such resigned longing for something long gone that it hurts my heart. I always found Summer of 69 by Bryan Adams to be morbidly sad for this same reason.

2. Do You Realize by The Flaming Lips. Soaring strings and beautiful but basic truths make me weep.

3. We're In This Together by Nine Inch Nails. I feel like this is the least obviously sad song out of the bunch. If I was just reading the lyrics off a piece of paper I would think "Oh, a love song by Nine Inch Nails." But it's the way it's sung that is heart wrenching to me. It sounds like his voice might break from all the screaming in a few spots. It's like someone wrote a love song and then was asked to sing it right after they found out the object of their affection had slept with their best friend and murdered their childhood pet.

 4. Wish You Were Here by Pink Floyd. Okay, so maybe this is a sad song if you interpret the person they wish was there was dead. But I never did. It always sounded more like someone who had lost a friend due to said friend making choices or changes in their life that they couldn't follow along with. Granted, when I first heard this song, I was about to make some decisions that would alienate someone I loved either way I chose, so I'm a bit biased about the interpretation.

thoughts on motherhood

I've been thinking about motherhood a bit lately. It started about two months ago when I started having pregnancy/baby dreams. I want to attribute this to Perry and I adopting a dog. Although I don't consider Reggie our "fur baby" or compare him to a child, there is something about caring for and loving something that is completely helpless and dependent upon you that I believe was translating over to mothering type thoughts in my subconsciousness.

The big thing that got me re-evaluating my position on motherhood was my health scare and subsequent ER visit. I've been to my gynecologist's office twice since then and had an ultrasound and other tests done, but my doctor can't find anything wrong with me. She's told me that they've ruled out all of the "bad stuff", so she thinks my unusual bleeding was some kind of freak occurrence. When I told my mom about my problem, she revealed to me that my maternal grandmother had to have a hysterectomy at age 32 because she started hemorrhaging suddenly one day. We've made plenty of medical advances since my grandmother's time so I'm sure that's more of a last resort measure now, but it still didn't make me feel any better.

The point is, I've always taken my fertility for granted and this whole incident got me rethinking about when and if I want children. I do not want children now but I always figured that I would have at least a solid five years before I had to make up my mind for good. Even then, I've always felt a strong inclination towards adopting an older child in foster care. Only two members of my family are my full blooded relation so for me family's always been more about who raised and loved you vs. who you share DNA with. Thus, adoption has always been a viable pathway to motherhood to me.

So, I've been thinking about it and I've come to this conclusion: nope. I didn't want children before this scare and I don't want any because of it. Mostly because my only reason to get pregnant now would be a fear of future infertility: a get it while it's hot, all items must go, fire sale mentality which has got to be one of the worst reasons ever for making another human. So nice one, biological clock, but you're going to have to try harder than that!

a few notes

-Perry and I saw Oz last week. It is a gorgeous film with the kind of visuals the critics refer to as "lush". I loved Mila Kunis as the beautiful and naive Theodora. But when she turned into the wicked witch her awful screeching take on an evil cackle ruined her character for me. Maybe I watched too much That 70's Show as a kid, but all I could think of was her screaming "Michael!" It sounded more like spoiled teenager whining than evil witch hatred. It's still a good film though, especially for families. I genuinely laughed in several spots and the first 15 minutes when you're transported from Kansas to Oz is beautiful and thrilling. I started thinking halfway through that there may be a deeper meaning to the film. You have three powerful, truly magical witches, but they are all under the sway of a greedy, deceptive, grade A loser. Maybe it has to do with perception of power vs. actual power. I thought maybe it was a cautionary tale but it may just be traditional sexism. I haven't trusted Sam Raimi's opinion on women since that tree rape scene in Evil Dead.

-I'm making another attempt to read Game of Thrones. I hope to make it past page 100 this time. My brother is now on the second book of the series and it got me wanting to give it another try.

-It was my parent's 26th wedding anniversary Friday. Four years ago I started the tradition of making dinner reservations for them at a local restaurant to celebrate. Growing up, I never thought of their marriage as being an accomplishment or difficult. They were my parents, and I just assumed they had to stay married forever. As I got older, I started to look at my parents not as Mom and Dad, but as people. People who had struggles and failures and made mistakes. Two 20 somethings who had no idea what they were doing but still managed to successfully raise five children and come out on the other side of it together. So I think two steak dinners every year should cover it, right?

-I turned down a trip to Las Vegas in April. Perry's parents go every year and invited us along with free airfare. I was scheduled to work that week so I declined. I possibly could have worked out getting the days off, but Las Vegas is probably the only popular travel desination that I've never wanted to visit. Part of it could be because I've never had any kind of desire to gamble. You can't convince me to give up my here, now, real money for future, maybe, potential money. Even buying lottery tickets seems like a waste to me.

tulsa

Even though my work free week started off with some drama, it ended nicely. On Monday, Perry and I dropped Reggie off at his parents and headed off to Tulsa, Oklahoma for a two day visit.

We stayed at The Campbell hotel, which is a renovated old building. It is unimpressive from the outside, but the interior is gorgeous. It may be my favorite hotel that I've ever stayed in for one reason: it didn't have that sterile cubicle-like feel that almost all hotels do. It felt more like I was staying at a friend's house - in the best way possible.

Every room is decorated differently. Here's what our room looked like.

The reason for our Tulsa visit was to see two concerts. Tegan and Sara on Monday and Clutch on Tuesday. They were both playing at the same venue: Cain's Ballroom.

Both shows were great. The crowds for both nights were vastly different, but they are two pretty different artists, so go figure. Perry enjoyed the Tegan and Sara concert a lot more, but Clutch is "my" band so that was to be expected.

We also got to experience a falafel wrap for the first time. When the concert let out on Monday night we were hungry when walking back to the car and saw a "falafel to go" sign lit up on a street corner. I think Perry's exact words to the man at the window were "I don't know what falafel is, but I'll take one." It was so good we came back the next night. I could only identify half of the ingredients on it but it was delicious.

Texans generally like to tease Okies a bit about their state, but I would rather see a show in Oklahoma City or Tulsa any day over Austin or Houston.

tv

TV is dead to me. Don't get me wrong: I enjoy a lot of television shows, just not on a television. I haven't owned a TV that could pick up a station in over six years (not that I've tried lately). I had cable for about a year when I was living in an apartment and every time I stay in a hotel with 200 stations, I'm reminded of why I got rid of cable and never returned: I have terrible self control. I could flip through the stations all day (yes, I'm that person). The channels I would linger on featured cooking shows, how candy is made, people redoing their living rooms or house hunting. Not exactly riveting stuff but I could literally spend every moment of my leisure time watching it and feel depressed about it afterwards. Cable was a drug for me and I had to stop.

I still enjoy at lot of television programs. I just buy the season or rent it off of netflix when the DVD comes out. Most big network TV shows you can watch online a day or two after they air if you care to keep up that way. I prefer the season on a DVD option. That way I can binge on an awesome show and then return to the land of the living a few days later.

Because I don't watch TV, I don't "just happen" to stumble on any new and great shows. Most of the shows I end up watching have been hits for a while before I hear about them and put them in my netflix queue. This is normally fine with me since if the show is older, there's multiple seasons to watch and an even bigger DVD binge is in store. There are times of TV show DVD feast and famine. Now is a time of feast. Five new seasons of shows I like have gone to DVD or internet in the past month and a half.

Behold my current time wastes!
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I love Game of Thrones. It's beautifully shot. The costumes, the sets, the drama, the characters are all amazing (I'm partial to the imp and the mother of dragons). I started reading the first book of the series after I saw the first season. I only got to around page 100. At that point, I had a very detailed list in my mind of all the reasons I didn't like the book with supporting arguments to back up these points. That's how much I disliked it: I was treating it like a high school English persuasive paper. I can't remember any of those reasons now except that reading about incest was more disturbing than watching it on a TV show. Which is weird to admit.
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I was inclined to not like Girls just because so many people loved it, but surprise: it's a good show. Lena Dunham wrote and plays her character with an absolute lack of ego. It feels like watching some one's diary come to life. It completely captures the awkwardness and confusion of early adulthood. At least for females. About halfway through the season, I was questioning exactly how well males were portrayed in this show.

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Does every American female love Downton Abbey? As an American female, I am inclined to believe so. Some of the dramas seem forced or a bit convoluted and for me it's an absolute guilty pleasure, but it is still very much a pleasure.

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Community and Modern Family don't have new DVDs out. However, they both just started new seasons and the episodes are available on their network's website soon after they air. They've both been a bit more hit and miss comedy-wise lately (especially Community. I'm not the only one, right?) but when they're hot they're hot.