30!

It was my 30th birthday last Thursday. I feel like I should do something to dissect the past three decades of my life. You know: what I've accomplished and places I've been and cool things I've done. I feel like those kind of lists become a bit of a comparison between others of the same age so you can see who's life has been "better" so far.

I feel like the most important thing I can say at 30 is that my life has continually improved since I've gotten out of high school. Every year I've felt more freedom and more comfortable in my own skin and thus greater happiness. I'm not saying that I'm completely confident in my decisions or abilities all of the time, but I'm making slow steady progress to understanding and trusting myself more.

There is more responsibility that comes with age, but when it means that you are also in charge of the direction of you life and the conditions you live in, it's a very easy kind of trade off. I think this idea of responsibility is what scared me so much about getting older when I was in middle and high school. Would I be able to be a functional adult? Could I take care of myself? Could I not fuck up my entire life? Well, yes. There are mistakes to be made, but it's what makes life such a journey and worth experiencing. There are lows and highs and in betweens and they all have their own kind of lessons and magic to them.